


Improvements

by awgaskarth0805



Category: All Time Low (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:34:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23132518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awgaskarth0805/pseuds/awgaskarth0805
Summary: Alex talks to Jack about a heavy conversation they shared a few days before.
Kudos: 4





	Improvements

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of a second part to my story Imperfections, but you don't necessarily have to read that one to get this one. That one was a bit triggering, and while this fic is based on that one, it's a lot less intense.

“Damn it, not again! I just want to beat this level!” Alex yelled to his computer as he set down his controller in frustration.   
It was Sunday afternoon, just two days after Alex had talked to Jack about his confidence issues that had been causing him some problems in his life. Jack had spent that evening at Alex’s, but had to leave early the next day, because he had to visit family with his parents. He did everything he could to get out of it so he could stay with Alex and make sure that he’d be okay, but his parents wouldn’t let him stay.   
Alex had spent most of his Saturday thinking about his conversation with Jack the night before. He knew that he’d rambled on quite a bit during it, and that he’d probably amped up some of what was going on, since he’d hit such a breaking point when explaining everything. He spent a lot of the weekend assessing how he was feeling and trying to come up with realistic solutions that he could start to use, on top of all of Jack’s support.   
Alex really wanted to tell Jack about all of the ideas he’d come up with, but he didn’t want to blow up Jack’s phone with a million texts on the realizations he’d finally had. Alex found his phone on his desk, then opened up his messages.  
Alex: Hey man, when are you getting back to your house?  
Jack: I should be back to my house in about half an hour, are you okay?  
Alex: I’m fine, but I do want to talk to you about something, do you think that you could come over here for a bit when you get back?  
Jack: Sure, I can do that. I’ll get there as soon as I can.  
Alex put his phone away, then picked his controller back up, deciding to continue trying to beat the level he was stuck on of his game while he waited for his friend to get there. After about forty minutes, Alex heard his mom answer the front door, and greet Jack.   
Alex logged out of his game as he heard Jack’s footsteps coming towards his room. His bedroom door opened, and Jack walked through it, a look of mild concern on his face.  
“Hey Alex, sorry it took me longer to get here than I said it’d take, my mom is the slowest driver ever,” Jack said, taking a seat on Alex’s bed.  
“No worries, thanks for coming here on such short notice, especially since you’re probably tired from your trip,” Alex replied, moving from his desk chair to his bed, so he could sit next to his friend.  
“It’s no problem at all, man. So, what’s up, are you doing okay?” Jack asked in a serious voice.  
“Yeah, I am, I wanted to talk to you some about the other day. First off, thank you for listening to all of what I had to say, it meant a lot, since it was all really hard for me to talk about,” Alex started.  
“You don’t have to thank me for that, Alex. You’re my best friend, and I want what’s best for you, and for you to be as happy as possible,” Jack replied, making a small smile appear on Alex’s face.  
“That means a lot to me, but I also wanted to apologize for putting all of that on you, I-“ Alex started.  
“Dude, you don’t have to apologize, you know that,” Jack said over Alex.   
“I knew you’d say that but hear me out. Everything I said was a lot to put on someone else. Now, all of what I said was true and it’s really how I’ve been feeling, but I know that it was heavy and a lot to drop onto someone, and I appreciate you listening to all of it,” Alex explained.  
“I’m just glad you trusted me with everything, but I do wish that I’d said something sooner. I noticed you starting to act weird, like, three weeks before our conversation the other day, and I easily could’ve asked you what was up then, I’m sorry for not trying to help sooner,” Jack stated, sounding a bit guilty.  
“Don’t apologize for that, it’s not your job to constantly monitor me and make sure that I’m doing alright every second of every day. Honestly, even if you did bring it up before when you did, I might not have told you everything that I did. I’ve been able to feel the downward spiral I’ve been on, and I didn’t realize how bad it all was until you asked me if I was okay, which is why I talked so openly about everything. It was hard for me to say what I did, and it was hard to admit out loud to myself,” Alex said, sounding a bit nervous.   
“Well, I’m glad that I asked when I did, then. How were things yesterday? I still really wish that I could’ve been here with you for if you needed to talk or if you started to spiral again,” Jack stated.  
“This is why I apologized about telling you everything, I know it’s only been two days since I told you what I did, but I don’t want you to think that you have to give things up to be with me because of this. I’m glad that you went with your parents, I spent most of yesterday in here, by myself, and I think that was one of the best things I could’ve done for myself. I came up with some good solutions that can help me with all of the thoughts and feelings that I’ve been having, which is why I asked you to come over. I wanted to tell you everything, and I figured that it’d be better in person,” Alex explained.  
“Oh good, I’m glad to hear that! What did you come up with?” Jack asked.  
“Well, I appreciate you saying that you’d go to the gym with me, but I don’t think I want to do that, at least, not right now,” Alex said.  
“Oh really? I don’t mind going with you at all, you know that, right?” Jack asked, sounding surprised.  
“I do know that, and I’m grateful, but the reason doesn’t have to do with me being worried about inconveniencing you. I said this Friday, and it’s still true, I would like to get into better shape, but my mentality about all of this has been so awful, and so unhealthy. All of this makes me think that going to the gym isn’t the best idea for me right now, and I want to wait to go until I get more of this sorted out internally and have a better perspective on everything. Maybe when I’ve gotten my shit together some, we can go together like you’d offered, because that would be really great,” Alex said, a small smile on his face.  
“I think that’s a good idea. I definitely don’t want you to go if you don’t think you can handle it right now,” Jack replied.  
“I’m glad you think that. Also, I think I’m going to go to the grocery store at the beginning of each week to buy some food that’s not just junk and get enough to pack for lunches, and to have for dinners. That way, I’ll be more likely to remember to eat, and I’ll generally feel better because I’ll be eating well. Maybe in the beginning, you can come with me, so my mind doesn’t spiral, making me skip doing this,” Alex requested.  
“Absolutely, we can go after this conversation if you want. I think that’s a good idea, what you came up with,” Jack replied.  
“Thanks, man. So, I also spent a decent part of yesterday looking through my old journal, and it was a lot. Like, I can’t believe I actually wrote all of the shit that’s in it. A lot of the entries were really negative, and a couple actually made me cry a bit, just because they were so full of me talking so badly about myself for three pages at a time. I want to keep journaling, but I want to change some stuff up with it. I kind of want to get a new notebook to journal in, since the old one has such bad things in it, it would be like a fresh start. I also want to change how I write in it. There were a lot of entries with no positivity at all, and I want to write with a more positive perspective. Obviously, if I have a bad day, I’ll write it truthfully, but I need to be more positive, especially about myself. Also, I need to write about more than just my physical qualities, that way I can try to rebuild my confidence and self-worth,” Alex explained.  
“I think that’s great, dude! I know you’ve loved journaling for years now, so I’m glad that you still want o do it, but in a way that’s more helpful than what you’ve done before, especially while you navigate through everything you said the other day. When we get the groceries you talked about, you can pick out a new notebook, too! Have you told your parents about any of this? Like, do they have any idea that you’ve been struggling lately?” Jack continued.  
“No, I haven’t talked to them about any of this, at least, not yet,” Alex replied.  
“Well, do you think that you will at some point? That’s totally up to you, but I’m just wondering since this is a bit serious,” Jack pointed out.  
“I haven’t told them anything, and plan on keeping it like that for a bit. I don’t want to freak them out, and I don’t want them to monitor me or anything. If things get worse, I’ll talk to them, but I think that for now, I just want to take it one day at a time and do my best to figure all of this out,” Alex explained.  
“That all makes sense, but please do actually talk to them if things get worse, just so you’re safe, and nothing bad happens to you. Obviously, I’ll keep doing everything that I can to help you with this, too,” Jack stated.  
“I appreciate that, and how willing you are to help with this. You’re going to help make this all so much easier for me to deal with, but at the end of the day, I really have to help myself. I have to figure out what’s going to work and what wont’, and I need to take a lot more responsibility with everything, and I finally feel ready to do that, all because of the conversation we had the other day. I’ve said this a lot, but thank you, Jack. Thanks for calling me out, and of r caring so much, it really all does mean a lot to me. You’re a great friend,” Alex said, making the two of them share a smile.  
“You’re welcome, I just wanted to do what I could to help. You’re my best friend, and you mean a lot to me. I know there’s some things that you’ll have to figure out by yourself, but I’ll do what I can to be helpful and supportive,” Jack promised.  
“You’re the best. Do you think we could go get some groceries and a new journal now? I can drive if you’re too tired from your trip,” Alex offered.  
“Nah, I can drive, I don’t mind. Maybe we can call it even if you make me some of whatever healthy meal you’re going to make for yourself tonight,” Jack suggested.  
“I can do that! Let’s get going, and thanks again for being the best,” Alex said, getting up from his bed.  
“The same goes to you, man. I parked in the grass, let’s go!” Jack said, following Alex out of his bedroom.   
Alex knew that he was far from perfect with everything, but he was glad that he’d talked to Jack about what he was dealing with, since it helped him to see the severity of what he’d been doing to himself. He knew that he’d have to take this all one day at a time but was glad that Jack was willing to go on this journey with him, since having his best friend by his side would make this difficult journey a bit easier.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, as I mentioned, this is like a second part to my story from the other day, Imperfections. That one was very hard to post, and was very negative and intense, so I wanted to follow it up with something happier. This is also based on my own life and ideas that I've decided to start implementing to improve myself some. This also serves as a big thank you to those who read it, and especially to a couple of people who let me ramble about everything I mentioned in the first fic the day I posted it- you guys are awesome, and I appreciate you all so much. My university is closed for a few weeks, so I plan on getting the requests I have up, and I'd love more if you guys have them! Thank you guys for reading, and for giving me a space where I can post vulnerable works, I'm glad I've built such a supportive community around my mediocre writing. Lots of love, Liv.


End file.
